Side Effects May Vary

WARNING: RLWMJ MAY CAUSE THESE SIDE EFFECTS!

Some made up company or organization or something called the FDA said we needed to post this.

https://lifewithmjax.blogspot.com and associated content may cause:

  • Screaming and yelling constantly, 
  • never stopping ever and shrieking and growling and generally being a dick. 
  • Praising the sun 
  • Being on the sun. 
  • Becoming the sun. 
  • Becoming a Communist 
  • Being better dead than red 
  • Wondering what the hell kind of shit must be in this for these side effects to exist disorder. 
  • Losing all of your earthly possessions but gaining eternal enilightenment. 
  • Feeling upset when bad things happen to loved ones. 
  • Having more eyes. 
  • Giving up soup forever. 
  • Playing a videogame wondering ‘Who?’ 
  • Not wondering ‘Who?’ 
  • Not playing a video game. 
  • The ability to smell fear. 
  • Thinking you have the ability to smell fear. 
  • Being Spiderman. 
  • Loss of all bodily control. 
  • Regaining bodily control. 
  • Bodily control remaining the same. 
  • Unable to see the colors blue, orange, purple, green, and ocasionally red. 
  • Passing the time day after day with menial distractions while your aging body slowly decays and inches its way towards death. 
  • Depression. 
  • Acceptance. 
  • Staring at a screen reading a list of side effects. 
  • Standing up for your beliefs. 
  • Standing still. 
  • Only moving your feet!?!?!?!?! 
  • Incorrect use of punctuation. 
  • Being better than other people. 
  • Loving yourself just the way you are. 
  • Not experiencing side effects. 
  • Turning that frown all the way down, side ways and perpendicular. 
  • Nausea. 
  • Uncontrollable bleeding from every orifice. 
  • Breathing heavily. 
  • Breathing. 
  • Making lots of noise with your big fat mouth. 
  • Thinking it’s saturday when it’s monday. 
  • Rock solid abs. 
  • Emotions. 
  • Punctuating everything you say with clapping. 
  • Teaching chemistry. 
  • Understanding exactly what this is and how it is and what you do and how you win and then deleting it off your hard drive and doing something else. 
  • Not playing a demo. 
  • Repeating yourself. 
  • Not playing a demo. 
  • Repeating yourself. 
  • Locked in a bitter struggle with your alter-identity. 
  • Repeating yourself. 
  • Vomiting. 
  • Eating your vomit. 
  • Vomiting your vomit. 
  • Stop eating vomit bro. 
  • Reading Long Lists 
  • Seeing Bullets 
  • Contracting Ponies 
  • Collecting Ponies 
  • Watching Ponies 
  • Hating Ponies 
  • Loving Ponies 
  • Having Mixed Feelings regarding Ponies and other things. 
  • Not Understanding Life or Mjax 
  • wondering when long lists will end 
  • not wondering that thing 
  • wondering what that thing is referring to 
  • not wondering what that thing is referring to 
  • Reblogging things 
  • Liking things 
  • Following Things 
  • Unfollowing Things 
  • Inability to breathe 
  • Temporary tooth loss 
  • Severe anal bleeding 
  • Redundancy 
  • Redundancy 
  • Ignorance 
  • Complete collapse of civilization 
  • Puppy kicking 
  • testicular inversion 
  • inner-ear euphoria 
  • olfactory hallucinations 
  • toe jam footballs 
  • rectal-cranial inversion 
  • minor blindness 
  • slight cardiac arrhythmia 
  • Spontaneous Ejaculation 
  • Idiopathic Colitis 
  • Ramndo Dylseixa 
  • Bits of a Sticky Wicket 
  • Bee’s Knees 
  • Excessive belly button lint 
  • excessive nasal mucous 
  • sudden and unexplained onset of cursing in baby voice 
  • baby voice 
  • eye farts 
  • appearance of extra digits (hands/feet) 
  • uncontrollable obsession with Liberace 
  • swallowing of tongue 
  • intermittent ignorance 
  • permanent loss of brain function. 
  • Walls of Text Suddenly Appearing 
  • Too Long Did Not Read Disorder 
  • imagining people named jackson are with you at random times 
  • Skeletal Muscle Relaxation 
  • Acute Hyperphasia 
  • Liberal Gynoperception (or Androperception in women) 
  • Public Micturation 
  • Unwanted Pregnancy 
  • Reverse Peristalsis 
  • Rotary Supination 
  • Acute Amnesia 
  • Dehydration 
  • Auroral Hypersensitivity 
  • Temporary Death 
  • Reverse Death 
  • Tourette’s syndrome, 
  • deja vu, 
  • deja vu, 
  • deja vu, 
  • ejection of the heart from the body, 
  • spontanious combustion, 
  • growth of extra body parts, 
  • Elvis Presley syndrome 
  • Speaking in a foreign language 
  • Appearance of new religions 
  • Abduction by aliens 
  • Soreness in hair 
  • Loss of ability to use the internet 
  • projectile vomiting 
  • projectile bleeding 
  • delusions of grandeur 
  • liking the kazoo 
  • spontaneous growth of nose hair 
  • odd food cravings 
  • internal cellular breakdown and bleeding similar to that caused by the Ebola virus 
  • the ability to attain buddhahood while bypassing the steps to Nirvana 
  • Irritability 
  • Double Posting 
  • vague sensation of being alive 
  • crankiness 
  • all-consuming evil thoughts and deeds 
  • 90 degree angular defect in penis 
  • fervent punctuality 
  • vociferous syndrome, type 2 (non-gregarious) 
  • feeling better than you ever thought you could 
  • inability to identify Coke vs. Pepsi 
  • Busted Guts 
  • baed spleinlign 
  • Reading Long Lists 
  • Questioning your life choices 
  • Vivid dreams of self-cannibalization 
  • Late Onset Albinoism. 
  • Increased risk of vampire attack. 
  • Minor heart explosions. 
  • Flaming nostrils. 
  • Extraneous limbs 
  • Raging halitosis. 
  • Intense apathy. 
  • Clown-foot. 
  • Frequent profanity. 
  • Slight cyclopsism. 
  • Hairy uvula. 
  • Speaking in tongues. 
  • D.I.S. or Dissolving Intestine Syndrome. In some cases, there have been known to be complications. 
  • Reemergence of the umbilical cord. 
  • Genital migration. 
  • X-ray hearing 
  • Prolonged erection… (but probably not where you’d hope.) 
  • Being attacked by a velociraptor 
  • Driving or Operating heavy machinery 
  • Being roundhouse-kicked by you know who 
  • PMS in men 
  • Copyright infringment 
  • Surviving to adulthood 
  • Spontaious Combustion 
  • Dry-sphincter 
  • If you are a hamster, and if you read this you are, you might want to LOOK BEHIND YOU 
  • looking behind you haha 
  • Blinking 
  • Not Blinking 
  • Blink and you’re dead 
  • Color changing egg sac diarrhea. 
  • Posthumous belly expansion. 
  • adam’s apple erosion. 
  • Untimely Finger Detachment Syndrome [U.F.D.S.] 
  • Crapping in a bucket from a very high building 
  • Timely Finger Detachment Syndrome [T.F.D.S.] 
  • Defensive Vomiting 
  • Inexplicable Disease Syndrome. [I.D.S.] 
  • DNA detachment. 
  • Man periods 
  • Retina detachment. 
  • Cancer of the child. 
  • Stage 7 (or emo style) depression 
  • “The Munchies"… but not the good kind. 
  • Ungodly soul inversion. 
  • growth of additional eyes 
  • Cranial arthritis. 
  • Severe Aging 
  • Skin failure. 
  • Also Known to cause insanity in laboratory mice. 
  • Sudden loss of bone tissue. 
  • Sudden loss of heartbeat. 
  • Sudden loss. 
Using This Website You Agree to the risk of these side effects and we will not and can not be held liable.

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